Kaos Theory

You all have nothing better to do?

2011-11-25T16:56:00.002-05:00

OK, so 10 months in between rants is a bit much. But imagine my surprise when I dug this carcass up and found folks have been reading and commenting on it. Oh Myyyyyyy.

I’d like to talk to you today about Franchises. Now, know it or not you (yes YOU) patronize franchises on an almost daily basis. You know of the obvious ones; any fast food or chain restaurant. Most cell phone stores. All insurance agencies. But what about the hidden ones? Watch a major league sporting event? Have your carpets cleaned by Stanly Steemer? Purchased product from Next Day Blinds? Guess what! You’ve patronized a franchise.

A franchise is simple – for a fee you become the “local owner” of a nationally recognized organization with all of the benefits and perks assigned there to. The fee is usually a hefty up front chunk of cash (Mc Donald’s fees are $500,000 and up) and a portion of each sale. In the case of almost all franchises (especially food based ones) you are required to follow their formulas and recipes. In other cases there may be no constraints at all. You get training, “trade secrets” and participate in advertising. You should also get support from a business development manager and other folks in the home office.

Sounds good, right?

Word to the wise – there is no, and I mean NO franchise operation that you cannot start, on your own and keep 100% of your profits (after taxes). If you have enough cash to purchase a franchise – you have enough to start out independently. Before you decide to buy, do three days of research.

Yes, experience is a great teacher.

Let's Understand Something.....

2011-01-23T19:39:00.002-05:00

Madmen are madmen. It makes no difference if they are holding a firearm, a machete or a pen. If they are bent on destruction they WILL find a way to execute their plan. The Socialist Left's contined efforts to limit the rights of law abiding citizens continue to ignore, sometimes comically, prima facie evidence that resticting the citizen's right to keep and bear arms is horridly flawed. All we need do is look at like in Mexico and the UK. These two governments have the most restrictive firearms ownership laws on the planet and some of the highest violent crime rates on the planet. How can this be ignored?

The Brady Bunch continues to push for MORE restrictive laws on firearms ownership. It was they that cried out for, and got, the requirement for background checks when a firearms is purchased. Let's ask a few folks how well that's working.....

Matthew LaPort, tell us how well the Brady Laws... oh, wait. Cadet LaPort cannot answer us. He lies in peace in the Blacksburg cemetary having been killed by gunman Cho. After Cho passed not one, but TWO checks. Cadet LaPort was trained to arms, but prohibited from defending himself.

Let's ask Congresswoman Giffords how well the Brady Bill is working. Oh, wait, can't. She's recouperating from headwounds inflicted by a madman named Laughner who, again, passed not one, but TWO checks.

The thing we should be focusing on is the horribly broken mental health-care system we don't have. Both of these madmen would have been prohibited from purchasing firearms IF there had been a mechanism wherebye mental health officials could have alerted the NCIS to their bizarre, fear inducing behaviour, writings and videos. But instead of concentrating on teh real issues, the antis continue to try and pass feel good legislation that criminals continue to ignore.

The requirement to have a background check, OK, that's reasonable. However, every other law that restricts a citizen's rights under the Second Amendment at the Federal, State or Local level MUST be struck down. They do nothing but protect criminals and add to the public debt.

Professional Certifications - Again? Really? I thought we learned our lessons.

2010-11-14T11:50:00.000-05:00

The Next Great Scam
There is something you should know about the HR folks at the firm you are applying for – they do not want to talk to you. Ever. They will spend as much time as they can erecting barriers to entry so they minimize the time reading resumes, conducting interviews and on-boarding new recruits. And there are a lot of organizations helping them out, raking in great profits and all with your tax dollars helping out.

Back in the day your entry to the work force was based on two things: who you know & what you know. Perhaps it was a simple as working in the Old Man’s garage. When the OM retired, you took over. You gained your knowledge under the oak tree bashing out the fender of some junker you bought for $20 and then landed a non-paying spot during the summer working on cars that actually run. Or, maybe you were of the “white collar” group and either landed an internship at the accounting firm, or Daddy sent you to college or you did your time in the Armed Forces and got your GI Bill and away you went. Of course, you could also work a couple of jobs and pay for college yourself. Everyone had barriers to entry but everyone had the opportunity to do something.

Then came along the entitlements. Sometime in the 1960s a college degree became a guaranteed right, not something to be saved for or sacrificed for. People of all walks of life were suddenly entitled to at least four years of drunken & stoned good times. This was done through Government grants, guaranteed loans and a number of other programs in which you (yes, YOU!) were guaranteed at least a BA in Underwater Basket Weaving. The result? The four year degree was devalued to the point of a high school diploma. It was nothing special, it was expected. In the 1980s “industry” put out the word that an MBA was needed if you expected any kind of management position. When I graduated from GWU in 1987 more than 40% of those at the ceremony were MBA grads. As you can imagine, the cost of a MBA program rose exponentially making it one of the most expensive academic programs outside of the medical fields.

Again, as the income of the nation rose and Government programs adjusted, the barriers to consideration for a step up the corporate ladder became higher. The playing field suddenly leveled at post graduate work. Out of every ten jobs I look at these days, eight require advanced degrees. So, of course, folks went out & got them. Now the HR departments had yet another problem, how to say “No” really fast and get on with the day.

Along came “Certifications.” Let’s understand something right here and now. Certifications are nothing more than a cash machine for the “Accrediting Body,” study guide publishers and test taking centers. That’s it – that’s all. The body of knowledge behind these certifications are some of the largest clouds of vapor and hocus pocus you will ever encounter. Now, this assessment does not arise from the trampling of sour grapes. No, I know four CISSPs who described the CISSP BOK and the test in words like these; “You will apply almost none of what you memorize in the CISSP to real life.” Read that again. According to these four seasoned INFOSEC specialists, the CISSP credential is worthless as far as applied knowledge goes. But look at the cash generated by this: $2,500 for a review seminar or $15,000 for a boot camp. $600 for the exam. $150 - $400 in books and guides. Didn’t pass the exam? Wash, rinse, repeat.

Let me also say this; I have been leading very successful programs and projects since the late 1980s. In studying the course materials for the PMP exam I have yet to have anything close to an epiphany in Project Management. The PMBOK appears to be nothing more than common sense wrapped up in pretty diagrams and jargon.

Add to this the fact these accreditations are being handed out like candy, very expensive candy, yes. Let’s look the “in service” requirements for the CISSP & PMP (by the way – I am picking on these two because they are the most asked for certifications out there and are the two BOKs I am most familiar with). CISSP requires five years in IT security. Now, they define this very, very loosely. In fact, you have a menu of ten “areas of discipline” from which you can choose two. What does this mean? If you have had to enter a password into a system to retrieve tapes and transport them off site for five years (four with a degree), well, you probably can qualify. Now all you need is a pile of cash (supposedly the Government will give you that) good test taking skills and two friends who are CISSPs to write letters for you and VIOLA! You are a CISSP and worth more than someone with an advanced degree in computer science.

The PMP, on the other hand, requires 4,500 hours (three years) of logged, project management experience. Now, does that mean 4,500 actual hands on, or just three years acting as a PM? The rules are very nebulous on this point.

The worst thing about these scams is that I know of no one in industry who wakes up and says; “By golly! We need to require random certifications! Because, goodness knows a college education, experience and a good work ethic are NOT enough!”

The final insult comes directly from the Department of Defense. It is quite obvious that someone in DoD owns massive stock in Comp TIAA, (ISC)2 and Sylvan/Prometric. Under DoD 8750 any SysAdmin touching a server MUST have A+, Network + or SSCP and be certified in an Operating System. Mind you, these folks are going to be doing work on SERVERS. A+ deals with DESKTOPS. Network plus is basic networking skills and SSCP is basic security skills. N+ & SSCP are redundant to the Operating System Certification and A+ is useless in the described environment. The requirement for these certifications adds NO value, costs the tax payers money and only serves to raise the barriers to entry for people and organizations.

So, kids, the bottom line here is if you are looking to move up in the work force, change jobs or (God forbid) please don’t think that MBA carries any weight. You’d better have a whole bunch of letters behind your name. By the way – you are a CERTIFIED MBA, right?

Can we get back together, please?

2010-11-10T17:17:00.003-05:00

How do you restart a blog? For a few years I published pretty regularly and folks actually read. Heck, it seems I even have followers I'm not paying! For some reason this feels like trying to get back together with a girlfriend I dumped.

Anyway - it's not like there hasn't been anything to blog about. The Obama Administration continues to fail, the Persian Wars continue to be mis-directed, the economy continues to faulter and the Libtards continue to treat the Constitution as if it were a buffet! No, the sad truth is; I got lazy. Well, as Edmund Burk said; "All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing." Staying silent is the loudest way to do nothing

Let's get to know each other again, shall we?

Cheers!

On Haiti, Senator Brown & The Politics of Firearms

2010-01-24T12:23:00.005-05:00

Please do not get me wrong, I am very sympathetic to the plight of Haitians. They are suffering from one of the worst natural disasters to hit them in a long time and from an ignorant government (if you can call it that) that has no interest in moving the people forward. However, sending $100 million to them was wrong in so many ways. Private donations? Fine. Troops, rescue workers and USNS Hope – all good. Money? Hells no! This was a slap in the face to the people of Galveston & New Orleans. Dohbama basically said to US Citizens; “No cash for you! But those people – sure!” Now some numb nuts “Fellow” wants to throw open the doors of immigration to the Haitian people. Great – a couple hundred thousand more unskilled, non-english speaking sponges soaking up my tax dollars. Think that’s insensitive? OK – send your name, address & phone number to the Haitian Embassy volunteering to pay for the care & feeding of a Haitian family and take them in.

As for the failed Dohbama presidency, the peeps spoke up in ultra liberal Massachusetts and sent the jackass party packing. Now the US Socialist Party (otherwise known as the Democrats) is crying that their much touted “Health Care Overhaul” is doomed. Thank God. I am already sending well over 50% of my income to Federal, State & Local Governments thru all of the ridiculous taxes I pay. I truly wish all the sheeple would wake up and we could have an honest-to-goodness tax revolt. If we even got 50% of the US Population to simply stop allowing withholding from their paycheck, the government would be forced to sit up & take notice. But I digress. The only good thing to come out of the Dohbama administration so far is their failed grade from the Brady Bunch. Seems Da Prez has decided to do the right thing & keep his nose out of private firearms ownership. Now he has a scant few months to un-fail his administration or face a whole new wave of Republicans in the House & Senate.

So, I recently added to the gun rack & got back into active shooting. I found out that with age and “maturity” comes the patience to be a decent shot. We’re not talking Olympic class by any means, but I can hit the CBM at 30 – 40 feet which is optimal in an urban setting. What has really struck me this time around is the rabid politics surrounding gun ownership & “my way or the highway” mentalities. For example, evidently it is impossible to be both a gun owner and a Dohbama supporter. I’d like someone to explain to the couple who live a few blocks away. Not only did they drink the Dohbama koolaid, they helped mix it up & pass it out. Now try and revoke their ability to own firearms. Be careful tho’ – they’re packin’ heat. Well, it’s good to see that ignerence an’ stipidity run on both sides of the isle! Seriously, I have enough to worry about, I really do not need to check out the political affiliation of every business I go into to make a buying decision.

That’s all for now. Stay Frosty.

2010, Oh CRAP!

2010-01-01T14:54:00.005-05:00

I remember long about June hearing this very loud "WHOOSH!" I now realize that was 2009 screaming by. My last post was in November? Lordy. Well, dear reader ( I know I have at least one) I promise to be better at this. I have found some new interestes and made some new friends with really, really interesting viewpoints. And by "interesting" I meant hat entering into a conversation with them requires an attack dog training suite.

I want to start off 2010 with just a couple of comments;

Tiger Woods - FFS, dude! Do you have any idea how completely & totally screwed you are? Do you also realize that almost every other guy on hte planet is looking at your (soon to be ex-)wife, your fortune, your career & your kids and we are just asking; "Whiskey Tango Foxtrot???? Are you completely inSANE????" You have destroyed yourself and perpetuated a great number of stereotypes that folks, like your DAD, have tried to kill off. Nice job, F-wit.

NW Flight 253 - There IS a God and he was holding each of those passengers in His hands. President Obama - your administration FAILED here. Completely, totally & utterly as did the entire staff on duty where the flight originated. I hope each and every one of them went to sleep on Chroistmas night trying imagine what it would have been like on that plane if the bomber was successful.

OK, first real post this weekend. Stay Frosty.

Is Blogging Dead?

2009-08-25T22:01:00.003-04:00

I am beginning to think it is.

Frankly, the casual blogger has turned to twitter & facebook et al to post random thoughts where as “blogging” has been taken over by the semi-professional journalist and politico. Those folks that just post when the mood strikes them are dwindling. For many reasons – there just ain’t much to blog about because the above folks have kind of hired folks to scour the web (or just created bots) and do nothing more than collect multiple snippets and smash them together into a blog or blog post.

Dunno – maybe the dead tree empires finally got the message and are now simply collecting dead bits. I swear – I cannot identify a “news” website that can hold my attention for more than . . .OH LOOKIE! IZISMILE UPDATED!!!!!

Seriously – by the time it hits MSNBC it’s all over the TV news. CNN? Seriously? On lines is so 15 minutes ago. Meghan McCain’s blog is May 19th old!!!!

So, how does one attract eye-balls? Oh, it’s easy:

PEREZ PARIS HILTON LINDSAY LOHAN BIRTTANY SPEARS NUDE NAKED MILF SHAVED CLEVAGE SIDE UNDER BOOB CHENEY GITMO TORTURE LOLCAT LOLDOG 2012 SUDAN OBAMA HEALTH CARE CLUNKER PENGUINS OPRAH OZ RACHEL RAY

There – if that doesn’t up my Google hits I don’t know what will.

All I know is that I either have to get edgy, or publish nude photos. I’m going edgy.

So, I’d like to give you a “free safe” that is filled with a “horde of US Coins” all you need to do is forward a “handling and shipping fee” of $15,000 to my PayPal account and I will send you a safe and some coins. Some have increased in value over 400% in the last four years!!! ($.25 x 400% = about $1 unless you compound) Call now! Quantities limited, void where prohibited, you mileage WILL vary, taxes, tags, title and delivery are extra.

The President in blue jeans – this is Pulitzer Prize writing?

2009-07-27T15:17:00.003-04:00

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/07/23/AR2009072304042.html

“For the President, A Dilemma Regarding Denim”

Yesterday the Washington Post wasted almost three full columns ( and I, sadly, wasted 10 minutes reading) to this trash. Robin Givhan somehow won a Pulitzer Prize for her fashion commentary. Reread that: FASHION COMMENTARY. How many magazines are there devoted to fashion? Oh, let’s see – Vogue, Fashion, Elle, Bazaar, Jelly, GQ, Best Life and the list goes on. Why the Hell does the Washington Post have a FASHION commentator AND ask why sales are falling????

So, Yesterday she decides to attack the POTUS’ choice of garb at a baseball game. ZOMG – a GUY wore BLUE JEANS to a BASEBALL GAME!!!!! Yes, folks, it is the end of the world as we know it.

Her article Yesterday is so fraught with crap it takes a shovel to get thru it all. At the heart of this drivel is a comparison to Presidents Reagan, G.H.W.Bush and Clinton. She bashes Clinton a bit, but finally lets him off the hook due to his “stocky frame.” However, she goes on to laud President Reagan as showing off his image-making with “his casual clothes, which consisted almost solely of jeans, cowboy hats and denim jackets. His clothes spoke of the swaggering machismo of Hollywood's cowboys.” And she also fawns over GHWB “…with Western style as well, favoring cowboy boots, belt buckles and hats whenever possible, and steering clear of anything that suggested familiarity with a certain Kennebunkport compound.”
Well, yes – good job there Captain Obvious. Presidents Reagan & Bush (both of them, actually) were working ranchers. The clothing they wore on their down time was what they were used to – a return to the comfortable. It was not about showman ship or brand making – that was the real person you saw there. The man was making the clothing – not the other way around.

Mr. Obama’s background (really) is Hawaii. Would Ms. Givahn have been OK with board shorts and a loud print camp shirt? His adopted home is Illinois – probably one of the largest centers of agriculture, manufacturing & energy production in the US as well as being a huge railroad hub. So perhaps a set of engineer’s boots, coveralls & a twill shirt would be acceptable.

Notably absent from her list of comparisons was Jimmy Carter. Why? Because that is where her snippy little tirade falls apart. Mr. Carter appeared regularly in jeans & plaid shirts during his “down time” and no one flinched. Why? Because of his farming background and jeans are what you wear on a farm.

Who cares if his jeans were a bit baggy? A bit short? A bit high in the waist? He was comfy. Would you rather he wear a polyester jacket over a polyester shirt like Ach{plegm}amadidyersister? President Obama was at a BALLGAME!!!! I suppose, dear Robin, that were you to attend such a fete you would be in a Dolche gown? That’ll look great in mustard.

Race will continue to be an issue as long as we make an issue out of race…..

2009-07-26T18:54:00.004-04:00

The arrest of Henry Lewis Gates has dominated the press for many weeks, causing folks to ignore other, very important issues like what the President wears to a ball game (oh, wait…that got covered). So – a summary of events: neighbor lady looks over at Gates’ home and sees two black men trying to open the door. She gets nervous and calls the cops. Cops arrive and comic high jinks ensue. Basically the cop determines that Gates is, in fact, in his own home but Gates becomes belligerent and is arrested. NOT on breaking & entering charges but on disorderly conduct. It’s a day or so later that the POTUS decides to step barefoot in this pile of fresh, steaming dog poo and calls the Cambridge cop “stupid.” Oh – so MUCH to comment on!!!

First – let’s revisit the scene. If you’ve followed the news articles it appears to look like this; in front of Gates’ house is a hired car of some sort with a driver and assisting Gates is his secretary (I assume a woman). Gates is dressed in a polo and & khakis while the driver is probably in a dark suit & tie. I assume the secretary is dressed appropriately. So, if neighbor lady sees a group of nicely dressed folks at the front door of a home having trouble with the lock and decides this is a 911 event – what the Hell kind of neighborhood is it? Goodness!!! Those robbers rented a car & dressed in their finest casual clothes to rob a house! Allegedly neighbor lady called because it was “two black men with backpacks” at the door. For the Love of God – a black man OWNS the house!!!!!

Second – Gates and he black community (yes – including Al Sharpton) are decrying his arrest as racist. OK, again with the facts. Officer Crowley asked Gates to step outside to the front porch to which Gates replied (OK – allegedly); "Ya, I'll speak with your mama outside," YOUR MAMA? Gates is reportedly the most scholarly black man in America and he responds to a Police Officer’s request with a “YO MOMMA” line?????? Give me a frakkin’ break. This is a Harvard “intellectual”? No – this is a racist. Plain. Simple. He took advantage of a situation that could have been resolved in moments and raised it to an international level hoping that President Obama would weigh in. Oh, and he did……

Last – The POTUS should never – ever- ever- EVAR comment on “local” events. Riots in LA? Yes. Disaster in New Orleans? Yes. The arrest of a guy in Cambridge, Mass.? NO! Mr. President – YOU BLEW IT. Especially with this comment: "Now, I don't know, not having been there and not seeing all the facts, what role race played in that . . . But I think it's fair to say, number one, any of us would be pretty angry; number two, that the Cambridge police acted stupidly in arresting somebody when there was already proof that they were in their own home." Sir – you were not there. So shut the Hell up and move along. It is BELOW you to comment on this matter. Get it yet?

What this all points out is that race continues to be an issue in America. Why? Because race continues to be an issue! It’s not an issue with the majority either, bit with the “minorities.” Sotomayor cannot be regarded as a qualified judge for the Supreme Court. She has to be regarded as a “Latino woman” in the running for a Supreme Court position. Really? Are we not beyond this? If not, why not? Easy – because it makes for Bad Press if we are beyond this.

Sarah, Jacko, and other Random Stuff

2009-07-06T12:36:00.005-04:00

So, Sarah Palin announced she was stepping down as Governor of Alaska. According to whom you listen to she cited personal issues, ongoing probes, a "higher calling" or all of the above. Seriously, who cares what the reason is? It doesn't take a rocket scientist to look at the challenges she facing at home to figure it out. She has to help Bristol raise her child and has a Down's Baby of her own to care for.

Sarah (it's OK - I can call her that - we're buds) has been the object of derision since her introduction by Sen. McCain in his disaster of a Presidential Bid. How much of it was deserved? Here was this obscure Governor, plucked out of the wilderness and dropped in to the public's eye. She got, what, 15 minutes of coaching before her first appearance? How much time did the GOP think about how the public would react to her family situation? What about the reaction the Dems would have? Probably none. They knew the election was lost and wanted something with a big shock factor to try & get back in the race. Instead, they gave the Dems & the comedians a new target.

Sarah deserves more sympathy than hostility. She was a fish out of water - in bear country.

OK folks - he's dead. Get over it. He had great years with the J-5, fell into obscurity and had a shot at a really great second career with Thriller & the emergence of MTV. Then, he blew it. Let me retype that with emphasis -
HE blew it. Not his handlers, not his lawyers, not his yogis - he did - The Man in the Mirror. The stress he put on his body with all the plastic surgery, the odd behavior, Neverland - these were not acts of his "people" - this was him - all him.

But with his death comes the usual circus that surrounds the passing of a person who was larger than life. The usual ring masters have shown up to revalidate themselves. Al Sharpton & Jessie Jackson stading by Pops Jackson, a shout out by Madonna during her gig, and almost every pop concert on the planet turns into a Jacko love-fest - all the while the MJ machine continues to make certain he stays in the headlines - gotta keep those album sales up.

However, a friend made an interesting observation; who's voice have you **not** heared? Here we have a very famous African American who was "cut down" in the prime of life and who is staying silent? Oprah. Why is she not off comforting Michael's mother? Why has Jermain or Janet not been on her show? Well, I share my frind's opinion - she knows the truth.

In the random bit-bukket I just have a few bullet points:

* I am done with the being of overweight. I guess it's time to get serious (or dangerous)

* On July 3rd I learned of the death of buddy. She was a Band Mom with the local high school. Her son & mine graduated together and now go to Va Tech. Evidently she had been battling depression and finally gave up. Another Band Mom called to give me the news. She commented that we were all so close until the kids graduated then those whom we called "friend" suddenly were off in the mist. Dear reader - open your old address book, look up a friend you have not seen a while & call. Make the effort.

* Some folks need to calm the frack down. Seriously.

* How do you know you've cooked damned fine BBQ? You smell it for days afterwards.

* Finally - please leave a comment letting know where your from and if you are a regular reader. Just trying to get a handle on if anyone is really reading this crap.

4.4 million out of work.....

2009-07-02T19:06:00.002-04:00

And you want to be granted leave because you have.....

The sniffles?
A headache?
Some emotional problems?
Forgotten to order your meds???

Put on your Big Kid Pants and DEAL WITH IT....

I can see a day . . .

2009-06-26T12:39:00.002-04:00

When, like Noah, I will have to choose a VERY select few to save, and allow the sea of unemplyment to swallow the rest.

Do you HAVE to be insane to be a Dicktator? Or is it optional?

2009-06-25T10:14:00.009-04:00

First - Lil' Kim

The pint-sized postiol packin' pugilist from Pyongyang has finally had his fill of being largly ignored by those bodacious bad guys in "The West." Ignoring threats of a smack down by his former backers China & Russia, he still wags his finger at the U.S. Promising a "Rain of Fire" should the U.S. attempt to make good on U.N. imposed sanctions by trailing & stopping ships suspected of transporting wepons cargo. He largly ignors the fact that he has exactly TWO missiles at the moment that (if they manage to clear the launch pad) might land somewhere other than the East Sea.

Of course, should the missile LOOK like it's going to get into the upper atmosphere, we got that covered.

More importantly, Lil'Kim continues to ignore the fact that we already have assets in place that, should he decide to launch, will turn Pyongyang into a set for Fallout4.

Then we have Ach{PHLEGM}m'dinnerjacket

Dude, seriously, WTF? Lesson number one of being a tyrannical, dictitorial puppet - never - EVAR hold "elections." You might loose. And when you loose you learn the painful lesson of the Djinn - once he's out of the bottle, he's harder than hell to stuff back in! There's a young lady in our office who is Persian. I had a long talk with her about Phlegm, the Grand Ayatollah and the elections and was shocked to hear her story.

The 1979 "Revolution" against the Shah was NOT intended to install a theocracy. At the time there were no less than six political parties ranging from pure Western Style Democracy, to Soviet Style Communism and everything inbetween (tho' I doubt there was any Kibbutzim in the mix.) In the middle of it all, the Ayatollah Khmeni rallies the Revolutionary Guard, calls a Jihad (or maybe a brunch - my farsi is not that good) and takes over power. Thus - one of the most beautiful, learned, & influential powers of the Middle East was dumped into a new "Dark Ages" of extreme "Islamic Law" and isolationism.

And the Iranian people are tired of it.

Now Phlegm & the Grand Ayatollah have backed themselves into a corner. They have three choices: A true recount and factual reporting of the current ballots. Throw out the current ballots and have a total re-polling overseen by a disinterested third party (like the Swiss?) Or - call in the Republican Guard & the Militia & start shooting.

Sadly - it looks like the Iranian "Holy Man" and Phlegm have chosen door #3.

Mr. Obama, Keep Your Hands Off My Health Care

2009-06-22T12:59:00.006-04:00

So, the Democrats are back on the war path to wreck the U.S. Health care system and replace it (or augment it) with "public" health care ala Canada. Many folks are thinking this a good thing. Let me give you some in sight into how the Canadian system work thru a real world example:

I know two young ladies who had the same issue - they were a little too well "blessed" in the front end. The girl in the U.S. was blessed in the FF/G range and the girl in Canada was blessed to the KK size. Re-read that guys - KK. For reference, Salma Hyeck is registered as 36C.

Now, this tends to cause many problems for the ladies - degenerating disks, incurable depressions from the bra-straps and, in KK's case, small fractures in the collar bone. So, both women sought reductions. From the time the woman in the U.S. first spoke to a plastic surgeon, to the time of the surgery was 45 days & her cost was $100. Double K in Canada? 2.5 YEARS and $3,500 out of her pocket.

Also - consider the words of Ryan Sohmer - cartoonist:

"In 2007, documentary director Michael Moore released his latest film, entitled "Sicko". The premise of the doc was to compare the American health care industry to other nations, including Canada.

As a proud Canadian myself (eh?), I was forced to watch in disbelief as Moore painted the Canadian health care system as something other countries should aspire to. At several points during this segment, I kept waiting for a Unicorn to come out into the waiting room to announce that Cancer had been cured, and a free vaccine was now available to all.

At no cost, of course.

I feel the need to set a few things straight, and also to point my fellow countrymen to a site where they may be actually able to help affect some change.

The bottom line to the Canadian Health Care system is this: You get what you pay for.

With that in mind, this is the reality: It is absolutely impossible to get yourself a family doctor. A 5 hour wait in the Emergency Waiting Room is considered a brief stay. Government run means government bureaucracy. You will still pay for certain things, any thing that the government can cut out to trim their budget (Ie, a doctor's note for school to explain why you missed class can cost you 10$). Need any kind of specific test or scan? You'll get it, within 6 months to 2 years.

The reason I bring this all up today, is that the situation in my province of Quebec is ridiculously out of control, and quickly getting worse. Any of our readers who are Canadian, or better yet from Quebec, I would urge you to follow this link, read about the issues and get involved.

Simply because something's always been done a certain way, doesn't mean it's right.

- Because I can.

Quote of the Day

"so, working for the government, you probably have to use public transportation?"
-Michael Moore, Sicko (2007)"

So, please, I have no idea what the administration is trying to cure, but I'm not Canadian - eh?

Adieu, Shalom, Aloha, Qil xin, Wot maber, Ayoo, Salaam, Adios, Ciao, Neemazonok, and Qapla!

2009-06-11T13:25:00.005-04:00

Breaking up is hard to do – it matters not if you are talking about an association with a person or with a group. It takes a lot of thought & insight to decide if you are having a little spat that will blow over, or if the relationship has fundamentally changed. This is a process that can take hours, days or even months. In some cases the decision to end the association can be so profound that the decision process can take years.

Over the past several months (since the end of the 2008 elections) I have had to really do some soul searching regarding my political label as a “Republican.” The GOP can trace its roots way back in U.S. history – some say all the way back to the WHIGS, but that is up for debate. The establishment of the party has its roots firmly in the 1850’s as the main opposition to slavery & the opening of the western lands at no charge with the first Republican president being Abe Lincoln.

Over the years the Republican Party has become almost synonymous with words and phrases like; “Conservative,” “small government,” “strong military,” and so on. I was very proud to cast my very first vote for Ronald Reagan and followed up with Mr. G.H.W. Bush and G.W. Bush (the first time). It took a little more thought to flip that lever the second time.

Now, we can debate about whether or not the Republican Party strayed from their ways over the past few years for quite a long time. Did the GOP’s “getting soft” cause them the election to Obama? Uh, no – it was the GOP’s being completely out of touch with the electorate that cost them the election and their response has been so amazingly wrong. The GOP has been acting like the spoiled little brat that didn’t get the pony for his birthday. The rhetoric that has followed the Inauguration has been nothing short of hateful. It has completely undermined the wonderful concession speech that Mr. McCain gave.

No longer is the GOP the party of Eisenhower, Reagan, Nixon, G.H.W. Bush and Abe Lincoln. They are now the party of Gingrich, Limbaugh, Coulter & Cheney. If this isn’t scary – I really do not know what is. The fact that the GOP is embracing a shock radio personality as their de-facto mouth piece is astounding and should be insulting to all true Republicans everywhere. Gingrich’s statement to the effect that he is not interested in being a player on the world stage is astounding given the reaction to G.W.’s policies of isolationism through invasion. The very fact that Sarah Palin is even being considered as a possibility for the Presidential spot in 2012 shows how totally out of touch the GOP has become with all but the extreme right wing.

The people are speaking to this with their most powerful “voice” – their wallet. Donations are to the party are way down. Don’t blame the economy – we’ve been through recessions before and contributions to political parties & religious organizations are the last to feel the pinch. It’s time for someone with some sense and understanding of what the U.S. wants and the place we must occupy on the world stage to come forward and get Newt, Rush, Annie & Dick off the podium. If the GOP is going to be the party of intolerance, isolation and bullying – count me out.

Does this mean I have sold my soul to the Democrats – uh, no. Those fools have their own issues and if they don’t get their grubby paws off my hard earned cash and keep giving it to fat cats and lazy bums, we’re gonna have words. America was built on free enterprise for a reason: it works. If GM is running such a bad business that it loses money on every car it sells, why should it stay in business? The stimulus package and the bailout package were total crocks and put the money in the wrong hands – it shows a complete lack of understanding of macro-economics. I could go on, but I have rambled on enough.

So, no longer a Republican, not going Democrat, and “Independent” was destroyed by folks like Nader, Larouch and McCarthy. Nope, if you want to know how I’ll vote, just put me down as “American” or, better yet, “Patriot.”

"It is the duty of every patriot to protect his country from its government" - Thomas Paine (or some variation thereof)

Like a Frakking Sledgehammer....

2009-06-10T10:38:00.003-04:00

So, I downloaded the Windows 7 RC and installed it on an old-assed laptop. I mean like 1.8 GHz and .5 GB RAM - yeah, we're talkin' Ol'skool, dawg! Anyway - I've been fussing with it and given the hardware it's on it's not that bad. The only real annoyance is the "OK" button is gone. As in, you have a pop-up with three choices:

A) Explode
B) Don't Explode
C) Paris Hilton

There's no OK button, you click your choice and BAMF! There you are! The trash can looks like a shot glass - OK - someone's going in the right direction.

But I was still not digging it. There is still something "off" about the whole thing and I couldn't put my finger on it until today. Then the lightbulb went off: the interface is soft & squishy. If you are still running XP and happened to have loaded Office 2007 (which uses the Vista/Win7 interface model) compare the look & feel of the Office App to any other native XP app. The office app is all sorts of pastels and soft corners and nice fade outs and butterflies.

The XP interface is sharp, crisp, clean lines, defined colors and good navigation. It's business where Win7 is all about photos & videos & music.

I guess if I wanted a Mac interface, I'd buy a Mac.

Soooo.... Martinis.....

2009-06-08T19:35:00.002-04:00

K folks, let's be perfectly clear. There are exatly FOUR (4) ingredients to a Martini:

Gin
Vermouth
Ice
Olive OR Lemon Peel

That's it!!!!!

Call anything else what you want: Liquid Panty Remover - Bra Lubricant - Zipper Dropper - Shirt Sluffer - Pants Dropper - whatere - it's NOT a Martini!!!!!

Get with the program!

It's better this way - really.

2009-06-03T13:24:00.003-04:00

Every night it's the same. Bolt from the office, make any stops I have to, get home, change into comfies, chat up the wife, pour out a strong one and on pop the headphones and it's into the Capital Wasteland. Sweet relief! In the game I am who I Am. Or, who I want to be – long coat, Steam Punk hair style, sleek sunglasses, a slouchy hat and a crack shot with a variety of weapons. I can sneak into a situation, evaluate it and with the squeeze of the trigger on a scoped .44 – resolve the problem.

Most days after work there is a LOT of problem solving. If it’s been a very bad day, I solve problems with a flame thrower. Sometimes, a mini-nuke is the way to go. But usually it’s the sniper rifle followed up by the combat shotty. I swear – you do not know satisfaction until you perfectly place a .308 in a mutant’s head and watch him just explode all over the place. Gooey, bloody relief!

However, I am dismayed to see that the most common things in post nuclear Washington will be shopping carts & tires. Piles of them. Everywhere.

The subject line read: “Codeine for you”

2009-05-19T12:54:00.002-04:00

My answer: “Yes, please.”

The other day I went into a local Gun Shoppe. I picked out a Sig Sauer P226 9mm hand gun. I asked the gent behind the counter his opinion of the weapon. His response was that it stabbed very, very well.

I then went to the grocery store. I asked the butcher if the steaks were fresh. He replied they were, he used some this morning to clean his bathroom.

Ridiculous? Of course. But no more ridiculous than the following conversations initiated by successful sales people in a highly technical company.

Them: “Our e-mail is broken.”

Me: “What makes you think that?”

Them: “When I send a message to that one guy it comes back with a ‘delayed’ message. Fix our e-mail.”

Them: “The customer wants to know if they have room for three Dell 2950 servers.”

Me: “No problem, they have at least 10 rack units available above their current install.”

Them: “But, I thought they still had room in the chassis for more blades?”

2009-05-08T13:06:00.005-04:00

Actual chat session with AT&T Wireless:

KaosDad: HI! My daughter currently has a Pantech phone which is just not doing hte job. A friend gave me an iPhone as he upgraded - can I just put her SIM card int heiPhone and then actibvate the iPhone? Or do I need to go to a store?

KaosDad: Wow - sorry for the bad typing!

Taureeqah Ruiss: Ms. KaosDad, thank you for your response. We at AT&T appreciate your business and value you as a customer. I will be more than happy to direct you to the department that can assist you with your question concerning switching your daughters phone number over to another phone.

Taureeqah Ruiss: Mr. KaosDad*

Taureeqah Ruiss: Please contact our Customer Care department by calling 1-800-331-0500. You can also reach customer service by dialing 611 from your AT&T wireless phone. Customer service's hours of operation are Monday through Friday 7:00 am to 9:00 pm and Saturday 9:00 am to 6:00 pm and Closed Sunday.

KaosDad: OK then - I'll do that.

Why do you have a chat room?

UPDATE

The weekend after this post I knew I had to get KaosGrrl's phone working, but dreaded the callto AT&T. I would have to do this on a Saturday. I was, undoubtedly, taking a virtual trip to Mumbai to speak with "Sam." KaosGrrl looked at me with those sad eyes that said; "Daddy, I love you and do not want to see you in pain, but you have to do this...." and handed me the gun.....er...phone. Miracles of miracles the call was answered by a sweet young lady in Texas who spoke perfect American, stayed with me for 45 minutes while we trouble shot an iTunes error (note: for the iPhone you must have an APPLE loging - NOT an AOL login).

The WHO, Mass Media & FUD

2009-05-05T16:05:00.004-04:00

It is the job of mass media to capture eye-balls. Newspapers must sell paper, TV news must keep people tuned in to buy sponsor's products and web based news need visitors to click on pop-up ads. When one crisis flames out, then teh media has to find something new to excite the masses & generate revenue.

With the finacial meltdown now becoming old news, with the reports on executive pay becoming too disgusting to look at and teh certified death of Pontiac, the media needed a shot in the arm to keep eyeballs. And man did they get one from the World Health Organization.

The WHO sank their teeth into H1N1 Swine Flue Virus and held on like a puppy does to its toy. Spreading as much FUD as they could they kept themselves in the lime light and shoveled bucketloads of coal into the furnace that runs the mass media.

PANDEMIC!!!!!

Screamed the headlines. Thousands to die! World wide death toll expected to climb!

As of today, the worldwide case load just topped 1,000 confirmed cases with 27 confirmed fatalities. Again - that's worldwide. Compare that to 37,000 deaths from seasonal flu in the U.S. alone. This is hardly the image that the word "pandemic" conjures up recalling the mass graves of the Black Plague or the stacks of corpses from the 1918 Spanish Flu outbreaks.

Yet - the media still tries to capture as many eyeballs as they can by spreading as much FUD as they possibly can as fast as they can. Last night, on NBC news, some brave soul finally commented that this outbreak was far, far less leathal than the "normal" flu or even the common cold. The story was buried faster than a croaked goldfish.

Yesterday saw public interest start to falter. H1N1 was not at the top of all the papers and it didn't even headline the 7:00 News. Of course, the WHO and the media are not ready to give up the spot light, not yet. Now they warn us of the second coming - which could kill thousands.

Lemme run out right now & buy a gross of face masks.

I Guess I Shouldn't Be Surprised . . .

2009-05-01T13:55:00.004-04:00

but I am.

Today, for the first time that I can recall, I was blatently lied to by a fellow employee. Two, actually. I guess I shouldn't be too amazed as they are both in sales. See, we have an internal IM system and yesterday (Thursday) three of us got a message from these two folks that a new client wanted six servers up & running by Monday AM - fours calendar days. We have some stringent QA standards - the first being we need a build sheet for each server to tell us what we are building. As of this writing I STILL don't have those.

We build ourown servers, so we kind of like to test them & put them under stress for 48 hours - it's this crazy idea that we want to float a quality product. So, as you can see, IF we got the signed contract Tursday (we didn't) and immediatly set to physically building the servers, got them into stress testing at 0000 Thursday/Friday, we could start loading OS at 0000 Sunday. The Linux would be quick but frakin' Windows takes at least nine hours so there we are Monday AM and we still have done NO QA and Oracle needs to be loaded which takes a day to do.

So, you see the problem. Today, our CTO called a phone meeting to discuss the issue. Durign the call the two sales folks flatly denied EVER having asked for a Monday delivery. They said they only "asked if it could be done."

BULLPUCKEY

How do you know when a sales person is lying?

Their lips are moving.

As we sewed, so shall they reap.....

2009-04-24T10:08:00.003-04:00

Unless you've been under a rock the past six or so years you will recall that Baby Bush and Dick Cheney decided to go to war with Iraq. For what? Well, I really can't tell you. Supposedly there WMDs there. Supposedly there were the making for nulear weapons there. Supposedly it was a haven for Al Queda & the Taliban. Of course, the only plan they had for our forces was to depose Saddam & his ruling Baath party, which they did.

Of course there was NO plan for what to do after that. What followed was a travesty and a waste of human life. Over 4,000 of America's finest are now dead and tens of thousands wounded or crippled both physically & mentally. Hundreds of thousands of Iraquis are dead and their nation has been bombed out of "emerging world" status to "stone age" status. And for what? Our forces found NONE of the threats that Bush & Cheney said were threatening the world. In fact, their ill conceived and unplanned invasion has left such a void that Iraq IS now a strong hold for terroists.

Yesterday, another by-product of the Bush/Cheney Idiocracy began to make itself visible - because we threw the weight and might of the American Military against Iraq, we could no longer keep an eye on Afghanistan & Pakistan - two KNOWN strongholds of Al Queda & the Taliban. And now the Taliban is moving towards Islamabad in a not at all covert bid to impose Radical Islamic law and establish Pakistan as a Taliban controlled nation.

Yet - this was not the act of just two men. The entire U.S. Congress failed to act properly. They did not review the President's actions as required by the War Powers Act. Instead - Congress voted overwhelingly to authorizr further military action against Iran. And the Taliban rolls on.

Below C Level

2009-04-23T12:11:00.006-04:00

I have come to accept the fact that I will never be a "C-Level" executive. Nope - never a CEO, CTO, CIO, CSO, CEIEIO. Why? Several reasons;

1) I refuse to trivialize people. I work in a very technical environment. We have processes & procedures for almost everything. The way to kick off an action is thru our trouble ticket system. It's very easy to open a trouble ticket; you send an e-mail. So, why do my C-Levels, send ME e-mail to open a ticket for them?

2) I am not afraid to spend the cash NOW for expansion in the future. My mother used to say; "Sometimes you need to spend money to make money." So true. If your sellable item is space, and you are running out of space, you need to expand your facility - right?

3) Play hard or go home. Every business type has a list of "must haves" for day one if they are going to be taken seriously. For example - a grocery store wouldn't stay open long with no refrigerators. A gas station would quickly fail with no pumps. The idea that you can start an enterprise by skimping on the essentials and back fill later is rediculous and will bite you in the rear in the long run.

4) Boards of Directors RARELY know what the Hell I am doing. If you opened a hospital, would you populate your BoD with actors? If you were opening a security firm, wouldn't it be nice to have some security professionals on your BoD?

5) No cronyism from failed firms. When a firm fails it's, generanlly, for one of two reasons - bad management or failed sales. So, just because you worked at XYZ does not mean you have to hire the staff FROM XYZ - especially if that staff was the group that failed!!!!! Seriously - would you hire Bernie Ebbers to manage ANYTHING????

6) Suits. My God I hate wearing a suit or necktie. Seriously - what does the suit represent? I've heard fools say it's a show of respect. TO WHOM?? And what does that really say? "I recognize you as a superior being so I am going to dress myself in layers of cotton & wool during June in Washington DC." Seriously - WTF? Do cops on duty wears suits? Fire fighters? Soldiers? Sailors? Airmen? Marines? Hells no! I really MUST question the sensibility of a man that ties a noose around his own neck every morning. Besides, when the Zombies attack - they will be attracted to wool & silk. Good luck running in those shoes, lunchmeat!

But, is the cat really worth that?

2009-04-07T12:33:00.003-04:00

Let me just say that if you need to ask that question then I seriously hope you never breed.

I have a couple of wonderful cats; Daphnie & Smokey Joe. Smokie Joe I inhereted from this guy:
http://kelvinmeeks.blogspot.com/

Kelvin landed a dream job taking him away from Virginia to Seattle and couldn't find housing that allowed pets on his short time frame. So, Joey took over my life.

Joey is simply amazing. He has this sense that he knows when something is wrong with his humans. He'll wander into the room, plop down next to you and purr away, making himself very available for much petting & scruffing. He'll roll over on his back and squirm about & purr. When he's stressed, he sneezes. I think he's about 14.

About a year ago I took him in for his very first "senior physical." The vet walked in with the file, looked at this massive (20 POUNDS!) "old" cat and I could tell by the look on her face that she was about to write Joey off.

That's when Joey's cat sense kicked in and stood up, perked his tail up, looked her right in the eyes & purrrrred.

The vet went htrough her whole checkout routine; felt his joints, took his temp, took some blood, x-rays - the works. At the end of it all she was astonished. The only "problem" she could find was a bit of tarter on his teeth. He was proclaimed the healthiest 20 pound cat she had ever seen. But, he had to loose weight.

OK - fine. So, off we went, looking for a "diet food" he'd eat and we settled on some of this new fanlged, crazy, low grain food. More meat, less filler. Little did we know that we had condemned Joey to great pain. It seems that over the six months he was on the diet (lost 6 pounds!) he was also accumulating Struvite crystals in his bladder. This past Friday, his bladder became blocked and it was off to the vet.

For the most part, Veterinarians are good folks. There are Vets that are "bad" just like there are "bad" doctors. Then there are Vet practices that are down right evil, prey on your emotions and run up the bill. Joey is very lucky in that we have a very good vet.

Joey's doc and I had a very serious discussion about treatment & the cost. Crystals are very, very treatable. Usually a simple diet change is all it takes and cats live on very healthy & happy - crystal free. The hard (and expensive part) is getting them unplugged & keeping them unplugged long enough for the diet to work. How expensive? Well, let's jsut say that by the time this is all over I will have run up a bill that is equal to a down payment on a decent auto (no - not like in a BMW, think more like a five year old Datsun).

Which gets me back to the title of this post: IS the cat really worth it? Well, yes. But then, how do you put a value on life of any kind? Especially a life that has been so full of love & devotion. You can't, and, of course, you don't know Joey.

Now, if Joey was 20 years old, half blind, deaf and miserable, we'd be having an entirely different conversation. But he's not, so we are having this one. How deep into debt am I willing to go for this cat? Well, I think $1 invested in Joey will bring a MUCH greater return on investment than $1 in the stock market.

I plan on wakeing up with Joey for many, many more years to come.

Wanna Feel Important?

2009-03-30T19:45:00.005-04:00

Wanna act like a Big Cheese? Wanna waste hours & hours of your peoples' precious time? Hold a frakking meeting!!!!

So, click on this, You only need to watch the first 5 seconds.....

DirecTV Ad

OK - see mister "walk in looking pissed and announce 'It's gonna be a late one, people.'"? See him? He needs to be fired, taken out back & given a sock party. Why In The HELL should any of his reports be forced to cancel their plans because Boso the Feces Head can't get a project planned/done/updated/whatever during normal business hours???? Is this guy a moron that can't use a day planner, or just a douchbag that has no life of his own and needs to inflict that misery on others?

The meeting is as old hat & washed up as the suit and power lunch. All of these are vestiges of a bygone time where wearing a suit showed the world that you "had arrived." Give me a frakkin' break. In this day and age of e-mail, PowerPoint & Excel if you need to hold a meeting - you are a really BAD communicator - REALLY BAD.

So, let me tell you about my "perfect meeting room." It's a windowless, concrete box. It has ONE door, next to which is a basket into which are placed all pagers, crackberries, cell phones, etc. Once inside there is a meeting table that is about four feet high. All lighting is halogen and there is NO Internet connection as the room has no CAT5 jacks nor does it have "signal" to any damned thing. There are no chairs, mats or any other comforts - no water, softdrinks or access to restrooms. Can you say "Hello!" to the 30 minute "meeting."

Do meetings just happen at work? No. Tonight I was called to a "mandatory meeting" for a HS band trip (for my girl child) to Boston. Was it necessary? HELLS NO!!!!! It was a frakking recruiting ploy for the Band Boosters!!!!

STOP IT I have NO time for frovel...frivou.. stupid damned meetings. If you have something to tell me - frakking hit "Send."

This is NOT the way to go

2009-03-19T19:04:00.002-04:00

Today, the Obama Administration voted to tax AIG bonuses (and other, more than likely) at 90% for the Fed. Add on state & local and it hits 100% real fast. Think this is right? Think this is good? Wait until it bites you in the pocket book. What this legislation really means is that when the Government needs cash - they can jack YOUR tax rate on a whim.

Have fun with that. I'm taking my bonuses in Zimbabwean Agro-Cheques.

Weight, Bailouts, Stimuli, Other News and They Wonder Why Some Folks Think They Are Animals.

2009-03-18T13:25:00.010-04:00

So much to comment on......

Weight

It is truly the mark of a small mind when, instead of discussing a person's talent or debating their points of view, one directs their comments to weight. The recent coverage of Jessica Simpson & Meghan McCain's "weight problem" has me almost physically sick. Seriously - is this ALL you can come up with?

Let's start with Jess.

Ummmm... seriously? Fat? I can has a break nao? Any girl you can't play rugby with is not worth a second look.

I'm finding it hard to find a good full body shot of Meghan. So, I'll steal one from GQ:

Now, keep in mind she was called "fat" by this gunch, Laura Ingraham:

Ingraham may be an intelligent woman. But by degrading her commentary to Meghan's weight, she invalidates herself. Which is fine, she has no clevage.

Anyway - if Jess & Meghan are fat then I am all for fat girls.

Bailouts & Stimulus Packages

Can the Government get it more wrong? Please? There is a basic truth about money - it likes to flow and, like good fertilizer, it does no good unless it's spread around. I am certain that Mr. Prez is listening to his advisers but he needs to learn how to spot a bad idea when it bites him, which is what these bailouts have done (See: AIG Bonus Plan).

Sir, if you want to get this economy rolling again, you have to get copious amounts of cash (or something that acts like cash) into the hands of Joe Consumer. Why? Joe will do one of two things with it; save it or spend it (which is why I like the idea of vouchers - they have to be spent - more on that in a bit). When Joe takes the currency to the retailer, he buys goods & the retailer stays in business. The retailer then buys more stock from distributors who, in turn, order more stuff from manufacturers who then buy raw materials & components from suppliers. At all levels people are employed, draw paychecks & then continue the cycle of spending. You are also employing the shippers & haulers of the world and contributing to the enterprises' bottom lines which encourages investment.

If you simply hand cash to the Wall Street Dorks that got us into this mess the BUCK STOPS THERE. Cash, Sir, does NOT flow "down."

Can you use this idea to further other agenda items? Yes - this is where the whole voucher thing (rather than cash) plays in. Give me three vouchers:

* $18,000 towards the purchase of a NEW vehicle. Heck - even restrict it to a new hybrid vehicle, or one that gets more than 30 MPG. Don't care!

* $50,000 voucher towards alternative energy for my home. Watch me hire a solar energy specialist to get me off the grid and reduce my carbon foot print. Which is closely related to . . .

* $35,000 voucher to replace all of my crappy builder grade windows with better insulated & installed low-e windows.

How many people did those three vouchers keep employed? Come on Barack - you got elected on "Change" - let see some change in the way Government THINKS.

Other News

* Evidently I am getting a dog. My cats and I will be in the basement playing Fallout 3.

* Medications that artificially reduce your heart rate & metabolism are not good for your mid section & over all fitness.

* The New FaceBook Sux.

They Wonder Why Some Folks Think They Are Animals

Lastly, the KaosBlog sadly notes the following stories from various sources, all out of Iraq:

MSNBC which reported that in the last minute of a soccer game, a member of the away team was driving down field and was about to kick the game tying goal when a home fan popped up & shot the player in the head, killing him.

The Mail Online which reports the stoning death of a 17 year old girl for loving the wrong boy. It took eight men a half hour to kill her while Iraq security forces looked on.

The Independent Women's Forum who reports the beheading of Nahla Hussein al-Shaly, a Women's Rights Activist in Iraq.

4,259 of America's finest have died to liberate this?

The Endorphin of Giving

2009-02-25T18:42:00.003-05:00

Our neighborhood has a forum. We log on to discuss, berate, belittle, snark on and, occasionally, help out each other. Recently a post was put up about a Mom & three kids who had just made it out of the Battered Woman's Shelter and needed basics. Being the geek-pack rat I am I asked if she needed a PC. The answer was "yes."

So I gathered some spare parts and a couple from other folks on the street and created a PC much like the one I sold for over $1,500 a while back. I loaded Windows XP Home (LEGAL, thank you) and a few other things. Then gave it and a high def flat screen away.

It felt great. Oh, I got great Karma points, but who cares? The act of activly doing something that might help out another person was - euphoric.

Feeling down? Oh, there are so many ways to feel better & do good.

We have forgotten how to "stroll"

2009-01-30T18:23:00.003-05:00

Everything we Americans do has to have a pupose. We are conditioned to think that a nice nap on the couch, infront of a fire with o-random-thing on the TV is a waste of time - you're a couch potato. When we go out & use our feet - there had better be a purpose - you had better be running,or "power walking" or going someplace.

What about a nice stroll? The idea is to just slowly walk and take in the sites, sounds & smells of the world around us. Oh - here's a radical idea - go on a stroll with your family and talk, converse, make sounds with your mouth - communicate. OOOOOOOO Scary!!!

I live in a culturally diverse community. I love watching the families from India go out for a stroll in the evening - they know how to do it. Poppa is always in front - he has on his turbin (is that PC? Who cares?), his carefully waxed moustache, his robes, sandals and sports a rather round belly - and he cares not. But he stops to point out the Red Tailed Hawk that lives in the Wild Area. Next comes Daddy & the male children. The kids are allowed to poke, explore & scuffle with wreckless abandon. And finally come the ladies. Usually with a young girl or two and a stroller. The ladies are chatting away about . . . what? Who knows? Who cares? They are STROLLING. And they can take up to 15 minutes to pass by my home.

I envy them. And I am trying to emulate them. A nice stroll after arriving home from work is very relaxing. You concentrate on posture, stride and . . . life.

A nice stroll - no sweat, no elevated heart rate - just a wonderful experience.

Oh - and say "OHAI!!!!" to your neighbor.

Update....

2009-01-04T12:14:00.000-05:00

Hello - EU? Yeah - no gas for you - one year.

And, in other news......

2008-12-31T11:24:00.003-05:00

Before I do my very first "End of Year Wrap Up" I need to ask a question in all seriousness: Is Washington, D.C. (our Nation's Capitol) just a magnet for stupid? To wit: on the front page of today's Washington Post Metro section are two stories of stupid. The head line photo tells the story of a driver that, while using his/her cell phone, hit a back-hoe and managed to then drive the car into a hole that was large enough to eat the front end of the vehicle. So the driver runs away. The registration is in the car & the plates are still there - do they really think they'll not get caught?

The second story was about a woman who admitted to police that she killed her daughter & set the house a fire. But then blamed it all on an unknown intruder. Yeah - that'll fly. I guess some one told her what happens to mothers who murder their kids - strange how their survival rate in prison is near zero.

Anyway - so here we are watching the final hours of 2008 spin off into oblivion and the pages of history. Normally, after a year like this, I'd say; "Bring on the new year" but God only knows what 2009 is going to hit us with. Having watched almost $40K in cash evaporate over the year from my 401K, the value of my brokerage account shrink faster than an ice-cube in August and the value of my home plummet to the point that we may very well be upside-down on the mortgage, I am not really certain I'm all that excited about 2009.

Everyday brings new revelations about how the Government was so sound asleep on the job that they didn't see the devastation that was about to befall us. They also missed a multi-billion dollar Ponzi scheme that promises to do as much damage, if not more, as the sub-prime lending debacles. And, please, do not fool yourself into thinking that Messiah Obama is going to wave a magic wand and make it all better. He's already discovered that revoking tax cuts to citizens is not the way to jump start an economy.

For those of you who missed it - Vlad "the Impaler" Putin almost made good on my prediction of cutting off energy supplies to Europe. Hiding behind the ruse of the Ukraine not paying the gas bill, Russia was going to cut the supply - thus not allowing re-sale to the EU. Today it was announced that the Ukraine had magically delivered a few million to the Soviet energy company and all was well.

It looks like the Israelis have gotten serious about peace negotiations with Hamas. They decided that the Gaza strip would be much more peaceful without a Palestinian presence and are gearing up for an invasion. Now, I am not a huge fan of Israel - simply because they've made it very clear that a peaceful end to the whole Palestinian question is not what they are interested in. If that's the case, fine - start the war and get it over with. Otherwise, be serious about negotiations and stop with the bulldozers and "accidental" armored assaults on Palestinian settlements.

And so, on the 20th, we inaugurate a new President. I will be watching eagerly as, according to his supporters, upon the completion of the Oath of Office magical unicorns will suddenly appear granting wishes to all the people of the world, causing all of the armies of the world to beat their weapons into plows, dogs & cats will lie down in harmony and there will be a large envelope of unmarked $100 bills delivered to every mailbox in America. I can't wait - really. Sadly - we all know what will really happen - Rahm Emmanuel with club them all to death.

Well, kids, here we go. While we may not all see eye-to-eye on things I think we can all agree that we are in this together. As Ben Franklin said; "If we do not all hang together, we shall surly hang apart."

Happy Chrismakwanzasolstikkah!!!!!

2008-12-23T19:06:00.000-05:00

To All My Democrat Friends:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2009, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.

To My Republican Friends:
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

And they wonder why I drink . . .

2008-12-19T12:25:00.004-05:00

Please visit http://wondermark.com/ to see the rest of David Makli !'s most excellent work.

Not to Beat a Dead Horse . . .

2008-12-12T10:38:00.004-05:00

As you can tell from a previous post I get more than a bit peeved when folks call out "sick" from work. It's espcially aggrevating when they call out and I check their FaceBook status that says; "Really Wimpy Guy is SOOOOOOOO hungover." So, because junior can't manage his life I am now a man down and have to find someone to cover as I need two people on deck at all times.

Well, the next time you feel like not working because you have a headache, consider the following.....

This is an excerpt from a Washington Post article (URL at the end)reporting on the awarding of the Silver Star to 10 Green Berets from Operational Detachment Alpha 3336 of the 3rd Special Forces Group. The article reads:

As Ford and Staff Sgt. John Wayne Walding returned fire, Walding was hit below his right knee. Ford turned and saw that the bullet "basically amputated his right leg right there on the battlefield."

Walding, of Groesbeck, Tex., recalled: "I literally grabbed my boot and put it in my crotch, then got the boot laces and tied it to my thigh, so it would not flop around. There was about two inches of meat holding my leg on." He put on a tourniquet, watching the blood flow out the stump to see when it was tight enough.

Then Walding tried to inject himself with morphine but accidentally used the wrong tip of the syringe and put the needle in this thumb, he later recalled. "My thumb felt great," he said wryly, noting that throughout the incident he never lost consciousness. "My name is John Wayne," he said.

So, sniffles, what say you haul your sorry carcass out of bed and get to work?

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/12/11/AR2008121104080.html?hpid=moreheadlines

Documentation

2008-12-11T14:18:00.002-05:00

Oh Dear Lord... no, please. Anything but that. Well, almost anything.

I have to re-write our Business Continuity Plan. From scratch.

Perhaps I condense it to: Update resume, post on Craig's List.

Monday Morning Mish-Mosh

2008-12-08T10:36:00.006-05:00

What a weekend. I was such a couch potato I think I gained five pounds. The weather was completely crappy both days - Saturday being overcast and cold, Sunday being WINDY and below freezing. So, I was in sweats all day both days watching football and playing Colonization (have I ranted about that yet?).

It all started with the Navy/Army game at noon on Saturday. While Navy won the game handily Army totally out cooled us with those uniforms! I mean - LOOK AT THAT! Digi-cam helmets, pants & numbers. Then there was the Navy Face Plant. As the teams ran out of the tunnels the Navy player carrying the flag totally tripped, fell, faceplanted and dropped Ol' Glory. All on national TV. Ah well, whaddya gonna do?

Starting at 1300 (that's 1PM for you civilians out there) I had to flip back & forth from N/A to VA Tech & BC for the ACC Championship. Stayed mostly at the Tech game as it was pretty clear the Middies had things well in hand. Coach Beamer & Crew doled out some revenge on BC and earned their way to the Orange Bowl against the Cincinatti Bearcats? Who the heck are they?

Well, they are one of the leftovers from the Big East and have an impressive 11-2 record. Evidently Tech has played them 8 times and has a 50/50 record witht hem - hrmmmmm. I might have to take these guys seriously. It's gonna be a late game too - 8PM on New Year's Day.

Sunday was Pro-Ball day with some great games between Philly & New York, Dallas against Pittsburgh and capped off by the 'Skins loosing to the Ravens. Seriously - how in the heck do the 'Skins still have a spot at he playoffs? It's getting to the point where the only teams NOT invited to the dance are the ones at the very bottom of their conference! When are we going to learn that not everyone can be a "Winner"?

In other news - I'd like Blog Spot to get their act together. Please do not put a "Remember Me" checkbox onthe log in page if you are not going to remember me. It makes you look dumb and annoys me.

And finally

PUT ON YOUR BIG KID PANTS AND DEAL WITH IT!!!!!

2008-11-30T19:46:00.004-05:00

So.Fscking.Tired.Of.Whiney.Employees.That.Can't.Or.Won't.Manage.Their.Own.Life.

"Sorry - no sleep last night - can't come in."
"Sorry - stuck on the toilet - can't come in."
"Sorry - BLAH BLAH BLAH WORDS -can't come in."
"Sorry - BLAH BLAH BLAH WORDS -can't come in."
"Sorry - BLAH BLAH BLAH WORDS -can't come in."
"Sorry - BLAH BLAH BLAH WORDS -can't come in."
"Sorry - BLAH BLAH BLAH WORDS -can't come in."
"Sorry - BLAH BLAH BLAH WORDS -can't come in."
"Sorry - BLAH BLAH BLAH WORDS -can't come in."
"Sorry - BLAH BLAH BLAH WORDS -can't come in."
"Sorry - BLAH BLAH BLAH WORDS -can't come in."
"Sorry - BLAH BLAH BLAH WORDS -can't come in."
"Sorry - BLAH BLAH BLAH WORDS -can't come in."
"Sorry - BLAH BLAH BLAH WORDS -can't come in."
"Sorry - BLAH BLAH BLAH WORDS -can't come in."
"Sorry - BLAH BLAH BLAH WORDS -can't come in."
"Sorry - BLAH BLAH BLAH WORDS -can't come in."

OK - who the Hell manages YOUR life & YOUR health? You want the short answer? YOU!!!!!!
YOU!!!!!!
YOU!!!!!!
YOU!!!!!!
YOU!!!!!!

DO YOU FRACKING GET IT YET???????

Go The Hell To Bed.
Eat The Right Foods.
Get The Proper Exercise.

Do you work for me? If so, know this:
I am at least 13 years older than you.
I Exercise 3X more than you - and I can prove it.
I eat better than you do - and I can prove it.
I can out-drink your ass any day - and I can prove it.
At the end of the year I will sacrifice 5+ sick days while you will be in the red - and I can prove it.
The last time I took unscheduled time off was because I found my Mom DEAD in her condo - and I can prove it.

FRACKING PUT ON YOUR BIG KID PANTS AND FRACKING GET THE FRACK INTO WORK. DO YOU HEAR ME NOW??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Sale's professionals should have no technology more advanced than an Etch-a-Sketch

2008-11-24T09:47:00.003-05:00

And even that might be a bit much.

I cannot tell you how many hours I have spent on the clock and off the clock repairing & cleaning the laptops of sales "professionals." It seems that regardless of teh myriad of warnigs the I.T. world sends out they simply seem hell-bent on following the instructions of every e-mail they get even if the DON'T have an account at Bank of America.

Why? Why do they do this? Seriously, I have seen NO other classificiation of professional with such a high rate of laptop destruction. I just finished cleaning the laptop of a real estate agent. It took not two, not three but SIX individual tools to eradicate all of the virii, backdoors & browser hijacks on the poor thing. It had more trojans in it than a college dorm in the 80s!

Oh, and the very first time I saw a cell phone hijacked? Yep - sales geek.

Hang The Sum'Bitch!

2008-11-18T15:41:00.003-05:00

"It's cruel! Inhumane! No court has the right to decide if a person deserves to live or die!" So are the arguments made by the bleeding hearts to end the death penalty. Well, if you are on that side of the fence, may I present the following;

Mazhar Nazir was a hard working cabbie who came to America (LEGALLY) from Pakistan 33 years ago. For the past 25 years he has been driving cabs. He was known for his generosity and kindness. His friend Altaf Anjun told the story of Nazir picking up a distraught Russian woman at 3 a.m. in Georgetown. She had lost all her documentation and had no contact information for anyone in this country. Nazir took her to his home, fed her and helped her contact the Russian Embassy later that day, Anjun said. Sadly, his last act on earth was one of just trying to help out a fellow American.

Early in the morning of November 2nd Evan D. Gargiulo hailed Nazir's cab and told him some sob-story about having his wallet, keys & cell phone stolen inside the Fur Nightclub in D.C. He persuaded Nazir to drive him home where he could get some cash. Instead, Gargiulo (a recent college grad with a good job as a Systems Engineer) grabbed his 9mm pistol, then asked Nazir to drive him to Tysons to get his car. Instead of paying Nazir, Gargiulo shot him "in self defense." Gargiulo then climbed into his SUV & drove away. No call to the police, no frantically running to a stranger's house to ask for help. Nope - just a visit to the D.C. Police the next day to report the theft of his stuff.

When the police finally connected the dots and asked Gargiulo about the incident, he claimed self defense. That Nazir had climbed over the seat and attacked him. Really? Then tell us, Mr. Gargiulo, how is it that Mr. Nazir was found dead in his cab, securely seatbelted in? Shot to death with the bullets from your gun. Leaving behind a wife and child - no, a widow & orphan.

Gargiulo had no intention of paying Nazir. It matters not if Gargiulo had devised the plot to get a free cab ride from the beginning, or when he (magically, it seems) got into his home and saw the 9mm. At some point the murder became planned - premeditated.

Cold blooded, planned murder. No remorse. No mercy. Karma's a bitch.

For the entire story, from which some of the above was lifted, please see http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/11/17/AR2008111702117.html

Let me paint the picture for you.....

2008-11-06T13:02:00.004-05:00

Putin may return to Kremlin in 2009

Russia to deploy missiles near NATO border

Do you hear that? It's that kind of half snoring, half grumbling noise bears make when they wake up. For those of you who have not been paying attention Russia has been getting a little...aggressive. No one should have a problem with how the Georgia events unfolded. Free Georgia (or whatever they're called) fired the first shot & Putin responded as any good Russian would; "F-You! I'm a BEAR!"

Now, within 48 hours of the election of Mr. Obama, Mr. Medvedev & Mr. Putin have raised the rhetorical heat up to 11. Depending on the version of the story you read, the Soviet.....I mean Russia, has threatened to either "move missiles to the NATO Border" or "Will target NATO cities" with missiles if the Missile Shield continues to be deployed.

The USSR...dang, did it again... RUSSIA has been watching this election with great interest and the candidate they wanted to win took the office. With the bulk of US Conventional forces tied up in the Persian Wars and a President who couldn't see Russia from his front porch, Putin knows that all we can do is watch his doings with our pop-eyes popping and our drop-jaw dropping.

Our friends in Western Europe, like the French who were dancing in the streets yesterday, have the full protection of the mighty forces of the UN Military Peace Keeping Forces. Right - in Soviet France the streets dance on you. I hope that Mr. Obama has a full supply of Depends on hand for when the first Soviet brigade (screw it - I'm not pretending any more) rolls across the Ukrainian border. Of course, Putin will wait until just after Inauguration Day, which will give plenty of time for the effects of his cutting off the EU's oil supply in December to be fully felt.

Meanwhile, in a move which its timing will be PURLY coincidental, Al-Queda will attack (and perhaps take) at least one US Embassy. If they are successful they will take a page from the Jimmy Carter era & abandon the actual building, whisking the occupants off to various parts of the world. As time goes by and the hostages are not found Mr. Obama's rating will begin to drop.

The situation will continue way into the summer. Exacerbating the situation will be sky-rocketing fuel prices and an economy that continues to fail. The fact of the matter is that hot people get mad. As major cities in the eastern U.S. suffer under rolling blackouts the "underprivileged & downtrodden" will begin to get testy as they realize that their Messiah is paying more attention to the international situation and less attention to "redistributing the wealth." Rioting is not out of the realm of impossibility.

Long about November, with the Hammer and Sickle atop the Eiffel Tower, most of the hostages unaccounted for but some returned in pieces, the debt quickly approaching $1.5 Trillion and no one feeling all that "Empowered" the cries for impeachment will start.

Christmas 2009 will be a dismal time

Well, that's it then

2008-11-04T17:38:00.003-05:00

Two years to get to this day. 40 minutes in line. 2 minutes to mark the ballot. Three minutes in line to feed it into the machine.

Done.

May God have mercy on us all.

How hard is it?

2008-11-03T14:38:00.001-05:00

To replace the roll of paper towls over the sink? I swear, I do not want to see the inside of some of my co-workers' houses.

The 2008 Election - Seriously?

2008-10-30T18:55:00.003-04:00

It's, what, five days away? And what do we have to show for it?

In this corner we have the Republican team of John McCain & Sarah Palin. Mr. McCain is a great guy. I went to school with his son and heard him speak on a couple of occasions. He is definitly Presidential material. However, if elected, he will be oldest President at election time with a record of health problems. I wish him no harm but the tag team of Father Time and The Grim Reaper do not care how nice you are. When they roll the dice and it comes up Double Death Heads - you're toast. Then who do we have? Sarah "I Can See Russia From My House" Palin. Great! Can you see the brigades of Soviet tanks rolling across Eastern Europe? Because that's what you'll see within six months of you taking over the White House. Chick - I'm too freaking old to be sent to France, but guess what? With the abortion going on in Iran and the anaemic actions in Afghanistan, I'm all you got. I can has body armor?

Now, In this corner, we have the Democratic team of Barack Obama & Joe Biden. Why the HELL can't it be Joe Biden & Barack Obama? Mox nix I guess. So, Barack - can you see Russia from your home? Can you see the brigades of Soviet tanks rolling across Eastern Europe? Because that's what you'll see within six months of you taking over the White House. Bro - I'm too freaking old to be sent to France, but guess what? With the abortion going on in Iran and the anaemic actions in Afghanistan, I'm all you got. I can has body armor? But that might be a moot point. It's a sad fact in this country that you will have a target on your forehead from day one. Then we have Joey.

Where, oh where is the Dream Team???? McCain Liberman.

Le Sigh.......

Post Two

2008-10-29T21:38:00.004-04:00

On Becoming An Orphan

2008-10-28T19:50:00.003-04:00

Sorry for the long post, but I feel that, besides entertainment, the purpose of a blog is to pass on important info & experiences. So, in this light, and because I just have this need to write about it, I wanted to pass on my thoughts & experiences and some advice on becoming an Orphan.

It kind of odd to think of a 45+ year old as an “Orphan”, but that’s what I am. I have absolutely no “upstream” family anymore. In fact, the only blood I have left on this rock are my kids – that’s so scary in this day & age. The only way I can describe being Orphaned is like this: Imagine you lived on the shore of a large lake for your whole life and your parents taught you to sail. Every time you went out, they were both on the dock, waving at you & cheering you on. They helped you get the boat in the water & back out every time. Then one time you look back, and there’s only one. While that’s a tad scary you still sailed and the remaining parent still helped. Then, one trip, you look back and the dock’s empty. You are truly on your own.

So, kids, let me lay some thoughts & “advice” on you. There are some legal terms I’ll throw in here, you’ll need to translate them into the legalese of your locality.

BEFORE you become an Orphan – have The Talk with your parents. Make certain they have a will. Laws vary from place to place but there are counties in Virginia that if you die with no will ALL your property belongs to the County. Your heirs get nothing. If you want to be very, very slick – have them put all things of value (real estate, cars, investments, the bank accounts, etc.) into a revocable trust and have you named as a co-trustee. This does two things: 1) upon becoming an Orphan everything passes to you immediately & without taxation. 2) Should your parent become incapable of taking care of themselves, you have access and rights to all assets to take care of them. Otherwise YOU pay all the expenses out of pocket or fight the insurance companies.

Next, check out their financial position – are they “free & clear” or do they owe debts? If the latter you MUST tally those up and buy a term life insurance policy for that amount + $10 - $20K with you as the beneficiary. Take that policy and put it in a fireproof safe on in a bank safe deposit box.

Lastly – make absolutely certain you know what your parents’ wishes are for their final arrangements. Get them to write it down. I went through Hell because all of Ma’s friends wanted me to have a funeral service when she left explicit instructions not to. You may want to take the last, morbid step with them and actually make the arrangements and get them paid for.

Now, if there are more than one of you – you have siblings – things can get complex. Invest the time & money NOW to see a good inheritance/estate lawyer and get that all hammered out.

So, time passes and the day comes when you are an Orphan.

Yeah – it hurts. No, you cannot prepare for it. The only thing I can tell you is that it will feel like someone has clobbered you with a large club to the head and rammed a spear thru your heart. If you are very lucky you’ll simply go numb for an hour or so. That does not prepare you for the dreams, later.

Sadly – putting your parent’s affairs in order afterwards is a business and you must treat it that way. If you do not you will get eaten alive and have nothing to show for it. So, here is the time table for the first 48 hours:

1) Notify the local authorities if you need to. Ma was alone when she died so the place had to be treated like a crime scene. If they were attended, you can skip this step.

2) Notify the mortician ASAP. They can take possession of the body (that’s all it is now, you have to accept that) and get the Death Certificate process rolling. I cannot express the importance of that !!!!!!! Everything hinges on this.

3) Sweep the residence for valuables. You are looking for cash, jewelry, stocks, bonds, other negotiable items, fine art, checks, credit cards and identification. Get them out of the house. There are scum who watch activity such as bodies being moved and death notices then break in to the house. You might even consider getting all the locks changed.

4) Now, go eat & get some rest. You will not feel like eating – you have to! And put the damned booze bottle down. There will be time for that later.

5) The next day you must go see the mortician and follow their directions. Depending on the instructions left you may have to pick out a set of clothes, etc. They will ask you for information for the Death Certificate. Make certain you know, or have on record, your parents social security number, date of birth, level of education, parents names (birth parents), place of birth, etc. It is beyond important to get all of this right. Again – your efforts will stop without that DC!!! Get at least 10 copies.

6) If your parent was getting newspapers delivered you must stop the subscription. A pile of news papers out front tells every scumbag out there the place is empty & unattended. Go by the house daily to get the mail.

7) Call all the credit card companies and cancel the cards. They may ask for a copy of the DC. Get a fax number and when the DC comes in, fax it over to them. Have them send final bills to you.

8) Call any banks or mortgage companies your parent owed loans to. Inform them of the event – they may already have insurance on the loan and you will only need to send them a DC copy.

9) If they are on pension or getting some sort of annuity contact those folks.

10) Remember that insurance policy you took out? Call them NOW. They will need to get a claim form to you.

11) OK, as you are a co-trustee, you are also a co-signer on their checking accounts. Notify the bank and get a print out of the state of the account on the day the parent passed.

12) Did they have investments? If so, contact the broker or agency they used. Again – get a print out of the valuation on the day they passed.

13) If you had spoken to an estate attorney – call them now.

14) Go eat, get some rest, have one – ONE – drink. You have no idea how vulnerable you are right now.

You’ve survived the first 48 hours. There are two major events coming up:

1) The services & funeral. Do not let more than two weeks pass in getting this done. Your religion may require faster action. There is always that one relative that just can’t fit you in – screw’em. Do what needs to be done and move on.

2)Getting the death certificate. This is what allows to move forward. If someone asks you for a copy of the certificate, always ask; “Do you need a sealed original, or will a photocopy do?” Most will accept a photo copy, some will need an original, some will need to see the original & make a copy for themselves.

Now, gather the original will, an original Certificate, all auto titles, the deed to any real estate, the bank valuations you got back in steps 10 & 11 and call the Clerk of The Court for Probate Matters (or whatever they call it in your neck of the woods). Make your appointment and make certain all heirs named in the will are there.

Take at least one full week off from work. You need to go back to the house/apt. and clean out the food stuff and sweep again for valuables. Keep the yard tidy. Start cleaning the place as you will probably be selling it unless you or one of your siblings really wants it. Once the County & the lawyers say it’s OK, get property titled/deeded into your name.

Now, remember I said to get that insurance policy for debts + $10 - $20K more? When it comes in pay off the debts, pay off the funeral arrangements then do something for your self! Something nice. Buy that iPod you always wanted, maybe go on a trip but, for the Love of God, don’t use it for anything practical like paying off debts. I’m saving mine to trick out the bike this winter ;)

Folks will ask what they can do to help. Your first reaction is going to be “Nothing, I have it all under control!” Let them help. Even if it’s just bringing over a meal – let them help. Some things they cannot do legally.

One day you will need to clean out the old house. Your first impulse will be to save everything. Don’t. You will be able to judge if something should be kept because it’s valuable and may be e-Bay worthy. As for sentimental value – hold the object (if you can). Do you get an immediate, strong memory? Is it something you literally grew up with and gives you a sense of comfort? If so, keep it. If not, donate it if you can.

Yes, things return to normal over time. You will find yourself thinking & doing odd things. I actually found myself dialing my Ma’s number to tell her how nice the folks at the DMV had been in getting her car titled in my name!!!! Well, you have five stages of grief to get through. Find support where you can, move on.

Well, kids, that’s all I have. I hope this gives you some decent guidance. If you have questions, I’ll be here. I have a couple of urchins to raise.

The National D-Day Memorial

2008-10-28T19:40:00.002-04:00

This past weekend was Family Weekend at Virginia Tech. As this is my son's second year, we did all of the "family stuff" last year. As the Cadets' Pass In Review was late this year (1100) we didn't have time to get to Danville for the AAF Tank Museum, so he took us to the National D-Day Memorial (http://www.dday.org/). Here's a short tour:
The Memorial is planned out such that you follow the progress of OVERLORD from planning -> landing -> push inland -> liberation of Paris.
You start with The Supreme Commander, Allied Forces, Gen. Eisenhower..
Over Eisenhower's head is a mosaic of the landing plan....
The General is overloking an English garden that pays tribute to the headquarters they used in England:
The garden is planted to represent the SHAEF Shield:
As you make your way up the stairs to the Gray Plaza, you pass by the plaques honoring the brave men from VPI (VA Tech) and VMI who have served this Country throughout the years, especially on D-Day:
I could take no photo that did Gray Plaza's vastness justice. The western wall lists all of the American fighters that never made it off the beach:
The eastern wall pays tribute to the fighters of the other Allied forces:
At the far end of the eastern wall were seven plaques describing the "Widows & Mothers" medals awarded by some of the allies to families of those left behind:
Now you come to the center piece of the memorial; the Landing Tableau:

What I could not capture is that there are nozzles placed just under the water that fire a burst of compressed air to simulate the enemy fire striking the water. The landing soldiers are making for The Wall, a sculpture meant to evoke the terrible struggle these brave men faced in their mission:

Now it's time to go up to the Eustace Plaza that surrounds the OVERLORD Vicory Arch - on the way - say "Hi!" to the Grasshopper - an observation plane:

Once on the plaza, you see the first soldier over the top of The Wall;Directly behind him you can see the Gray Plaza and the Greek Dome from the first couple of pictures. Gray Plaza is divided into five zones to represent the five beach heads; which were....?
Under the OVERLORD Victory Arch is a reminder of the cost:
The Memorial if full of symbolism. The Victory arch is topped by alternating black & white stripes such as were painted on the wings of the allied planes. The height of the Arch is described as "66 feet, 44 inches."
Marking the transition from the landing to the push inland is this powerful sculpture:
From there you walk down a Parade that is meant to represent the many plazas and aveneus that the Allies passed through while liberating Europe. The Parade ends in a Tribute to all those wounded in all of America's Military Actions:
Well, this went on much too long. Anyway - I hope you enjoyed the mini-tour. Please visit the web site for operating hours. If you stopped to read every plaque in the place - count on being there three hours or more.

The First Post

2008-10-22T19:07:00.005-04:00

Or – An introduction to this dipsomaniac called KaosDad
Part One – The Early Years

Daddy was a Sea Captain. So I never had a place to call home. The first place I remember with any clarity is New Port, RI. We lived in a small cottage on some land owned by a farmer. He took some of his fallow ground and divided it up, built some houses and rented them out to the families of the sea going folk in the area. It was in this house, at the tender age of six, that my life almost ended.

But, I am ahead of my self, as usual.

I was first lent out to the world while Dad was in the Philippines. It was from his base there that he kept a watchful eye on the Chinese, Korean, and Russian pirates that patrolled the China Sea & The Pacific Ocean. I have no memories of this place save a few photos. We seemed happy enough. Evidently I was cared for by Philipina House Girls and only after I was bathed & dressed would I be handed over to my birth mother. The images play out in a blur of home snapshots and official photographs.

We were moved, when I was four, to Rhode Island. It was there that Pops would rotate between teaching aspiring Captains in the art of pirate stalking and actually going to sea to ply his skills. It was there that in a fit of childhood terror I ran after my Mother – across the wide open, unfinished floor of the basement – running-back style and hit the plate glass of the back door just as it latched into its frame. There was a shatter, a scream, and I froze. I was half in the house and half out – thru the door, which was closed. I looked up to see my Mother, a horrific, wide eyed gaze on her face, pointing at he as she said; “Do not move.” She pushed my head down slightly and backwards until I was free of the shattered door and looked up to see a glass dagger that, just seconds before, was poised over my spine – ready to kill me or, worse, commit me to being a quadriplegic for the rest of my days.

I am convinced that this was God’s message to me that I am divine & chosen to bring either great goodness to His earth – or destroy it utterly.